Return of The Blogger - or not

That's it!  I'm coming back - or not.

My opinions are becoming more set in stone and conspiracy theories abound in my imagination.  Been getting deeper and deeper into Bible study and excited about new revelations that might not be so readily accepted on well read venues. I like to cook, have a new food regimen and might post a recipe or two - or not.  I repair and sell dolls so that might come up once in awhile - or not.  My health is more important all the time so I might comment on that - or not.  I need an outlet where I can write (I like to write) and not too many people will read it.  I want to speak my mind but don't want to "make waves".  Crazy huh?  Well, I''m getting old.

I dropped this blog because of very few readers and other social media taking my time. I dropped all other social media but one and thinking of ending that due to their increasing censorship and lack of morality.  I am forced to capitalize the names of cheeses but not adjectives for Jesus or they are considered misspelled.  This has always been a pet peeve of mine.  It's not like I write four letter words or preach animal sacrifice.

At this stage of my life, I am beyond caring.
It's true! The older I get, the more outspoken
I seem to be.  

Want to read this blog?  I will be expressing a lot of personal views and opinions, along with my religious views in my own writing style.  Agree or not, I won't care. 
You can always opt to not read my posts; don't care about that either.  I just want a platform for release.

Where have I been?  With the onset of COVID early, my husband and I spent a couple spring months sick.  One of the early tests came out negative for the illness even though we had text book symptoms.  Two years later, I end up in hospital for ten days with COVID pneumonia.  Oh, that was an experience! That shut down my virtual shop for two months.  It was an experience I don't want again and getting over it is proving to be a major effort.  Not crying and not to worry,  I am good to go just not patient.  Might even write about it later - or not; I would not want to sound pathetic or scarred for life.  I am tired of all the "hoopla" and criticism from those opposed to my opinions about it all.  After all, I don't bother them over their beliefs of masks and hand washing, sanitizers and distancing or whatever else they are consumed with.  Life is for living with joy; not in fear.

Between the two bouts of illness, my children found me and we reunited after 50 years.  Just like a TV talk show!  I wrote in my autobiography, "Evidence of God", they died at birth.  That had to be explained - a lot!  Start writing about life experiences and the world acts like they have a right to all the secrets of your heart.  I might write about the experience sometime - or not.  I'm not one to go on about super personal issues.  Readers think I told all in my book but they are wrong.  I might tell it all here - or not.  We'll just wait and see.

I might copy something from my book on occasion.  After all, it's not flying off the bookshelves.
You can come back and read more later - or not. 

Emotional Baggage - Linda Rous

Scars On My Soul

Without Jesus, we will always want.

We are created with a space inside us that cannot be filled by anything else.  That's how we are made - our physical and chemical make up.  When we give ourselves to the acceptance of Jesus life and death on that cross, God plants a seed of His Spirit in that spot.  We can water and feed that seed or let it dry up.  

In this world today there are so many people are hurting, wandering and searching for whatever will fill that empty space.  Some look for other people to fill that space:  a spouse or a friend.  Some turn to drugs or alcohol.  Even shopping, gambling, sex, video games, pornography, social media, a social life, career, stock market, a hobby, exercise or any other hollow thing.  A hollow thing cannot fill space.  By hollow, I mean without substance or meaning; self consuming.

I can think back on so many years of "stupid".   I believe my stupidity came mostly from anger.  I was angry about my sexual abuse as a child.  I felt dirty; like I had a huge secret - a dirty monster secret.  I was ashamed.  (Shame is a huge factor with sexual abuse; especially in children.)  There was this idea of hiding the dirty monster secret out of shame.  You dare not let anyone know.  Don't tell.  Don't discuss it with anyone.  This monster hung around in the corner of every room; always present and accusing.

There were times I would find myself in a situation where I felt comfortable with a friend or in a group and I would just mention the abuse.  Inevitably, the first question from anyone was, "Why didn't you tell someone?"  Never ask an abused child or person that question!  It is condemning.  It places blame on the wrong person.  This child or person already feels condemned, dirty, guilty and ashamed.  (You cannot relate if you have not been there.)  These feelings in me turned to anger.  I was angry toward men.  At the same time, I wanted a man to love me - to make up for the missing father.  

There was a step father in the house because my father had left.  A child takes things personal.  His leaving left me feeling unwanted and confused over what I had done to drive him away.   When my father lived with us, he doted on me.  There was now an empty spot in our family that needed filled.  The relationship between a girl and her father is unique to nothing else.  It can set the stage for relationships with men the rest of her life.  I was not complete without that relationship; the doting man.  My child's mind turned assigned blame to my mother.

A feeling of "empty" dominated my life.  I tried to fill it with relationships - one after another.  I was confused, seeking that illusive "something" to fill that empty spot inside me.  I was so desperate that I put a sign on my back that read, "Kick me!".  This sign could only be seen by men who wanted to take advantage of women for their own selfish agenda.  This went on for years; until my mid thirties.  

I tried group therapy; Oh, that was fun! - NOT!  Therapy can be a good thing.  I was in a community group of self pity.  I tried drinking and bar hopping.  There was that long list of relationships that just added to the dirty feeling.  Anger surfaced in various ways: drinking, teasing, independence, rebellion, a loud and dominating personality.  I had a pastor tell me that he knew I was hurting because of how loud I laughed; I tried to hard to be happy.  

Let me say here that I have secrets.  Things I never told my mother, things I will not tell my husband.  My closest friends would not know how to understand.  If you do not deal with your secrets, they will make you sick.  I was sick emotionally and the physical aspects are now surfacing as a delayed reaction.  The seeds of illness have now grown into full maturity through high blood pressure, blood sugar and various allergies through a compromised immune system.

My worldly options were exhausted.  I tried everything I could to run headlong over a cliff (so to speak).

When I was sitting with a loaded gun in my hand, God spoke through a whisper from somewhere deep inside me.  

I returned to childhood teachings of my mother and, in gut wrenching prostration, returned to church.  I was the prodigal daughter coming home to the spiritual Father that I can always count on.  This Father never leaves me, forgave me, made me whole, listens to me, heals me, gave me hope and tenderly loves me forever.  He knows ALL my secrets but can't see them.  He sees me through the blood that Christ shed - as a pure and holy child of His, redeemed.  He has made me a princess daughter in His Kingdom forever.  I am the righteousness of God through His first born son, Jesus.  

I have scars on my soul.  The scabs and pain are gone.  My life is changed forever.  Life is full.  There is no more "empty" inside.  I am filled with warm, sincere desires to love, share, help, teach and to be with God, my Father, in this life and the next.  
Amen

All About Your Stuff

Everyone has stuff.  What sort of stuff do you have?  What kind of stuff do you want?  Is there any stuff that you have that you don't want?  Is there stuff you don't have that you do want?  What will you do with the stuff you don't want?  What do you do with the stuff you do want?

People want stuff.  Some of the stuff they want, they need.  Much of the stuff we have, we don't need.  So, why do we have the stuff we don't need?  Do we use our stuff to show off or show our stuff is better than the stuff of other people?  My stuff is better than your stuff.

What do you do with your stuff?  Do you use your stuff?  What do you use your stuff for?  Do you need your stuff to survive?  Do you need your stuff to be healthy?  Do you need your stuff to help others who don't have stuff?

Do your kids want your stuff?  Are they asking for your stuff when you are gone?  Do you have an attorney to make a will to say who gets your stuff?  Do they argue over who gets what of your stuff?  Will they go to court to get your stuff?  Will your family be torn apart over your stuff?  Or, do you have stuff that no one wants?

Does your stuff make you happy?  Do you enjoy having your stuff?  Does it make you feel all warm and fuzzy to have your stuff?  Does your stuff satisfy you or give you meaning?  Does your stuff give you purpose or sustain your life?

If not, you just might need more stuff.  Of course!  We all know that having stuff will make us happy, so we work to get stuff.  Some people cheat, lie and steal to get stuff.  Sometimes they go to jail because of their stuff.  When we get the stuff we want - to make us happy, we find we are not happy with the stuff we thought we wanted.  What do we do?  We get more stuff!  The stuff we had did not make us happy so more stuff will make us happy, so we work longer and harder to get more stuff.  When we get more stuff, do we find we are soon unhappy with our new stuff?   Do we really need to get more stuff?

We go to resale shops, malls, yard sales, markets, dealers, sales, discounts, the internet, auctions, stores and warehouses to get more stuff.  We buy other people's stuff.  We trade for stuff.  We look high and low for bargains in order to have more stuff.  The one with the most stuff at the end, wins.

What if the stuff we buy doesn't work?  There is the issue of returning stuff we decide we don't like, want or doesn't fit.  Maybe the new stuff is the wrong size or color or just doesn't work like we wanted it to.  We have to return our stuff and have the bill adjusted with the rebate, on our credit card, stand in line and wait, with other people who are returning stuff.

What if our stuff gets broken?  We have to file a complaint, return it or ship our stuff for the company to repair our stuff.  Then we wait for our stuff to be returned.  Meanwhile, we rent other stuff to use while our stuff is repaired.  We pay someone to repair our stuff so we can display, insure, store and inventory our stuff.

When we have stuff, we have to clean our stuff so we buy stuff to clean our stuff.  We have to put our stuff someplace so when we fill our home with our stuff, we have to rent a facility to store our extra stuff.

Someone else might want to take our stuff so we have to buy insurance to replace our stuff and a security system to guard  our stuff.  Then, we inventory our stuff so we don't forget what stuff we have.  Sometimes, we even photograph our stuff.

We could have a sale to get rid of some of our stuff.  (Now here is a revelation!)  Then, we have to decide which stuff to get rid of.  Which of our stuff do we really need and which of our stuff should we sell?  Do we need the stuff we think we need or do we just want it?  Is it sentiment that has us keeping our stuff?  Is it the cost that has us keeping our stuff?  Maybe it is the hope that someday our stuff will be worth more than what we paid for our stuff.  Then we have to go to our inventory to find where we put our stuff, get our stuff, clean our stuff and decide how to sell our stuff.  

If we have a yard sale, we have to clean, sort and price our stuff.  If we sell to a dealer or collector, we have to prove the value of our stuff so we pay to have our stuff appraised.  If we take our stuff to a resale store, we have to clean, sort and value our stuff.  Then we have to keep a running inventory of our stuff.  If we want to sell in a craft mall, we have to pay rent for the space to sell our stuff and spend time, and money, creating a display for our stuff.  We will have to purchase more stuff to exhibit the stuff we are selling.  We can create a virtual store on one of the many selling web sites created for selling stuff.  Then, we have to set up the virtual store, charge tax, do shipping and pay taxes to the government on our former stuff. 


You will never see a U-Haul truck behind a 
hearst.
A coffin is not big enough to hold all of your stuff.
More stuff will not get you any priority in heaven.
Money is the least of God's blessings


The only things we keep forever are those we GIVE AWAY.
Amen

Salt & Light

Ladies,

Are you finding yourself with an empty nest?  Has your husband passed on?  Have your children moved away?  Are you retired?  Do people treat you as though you don't exist?  Do younger people think you are old fashioned?  Do you feel worthless?   Alone?  Getting depressed?

As women, it is in our make up to serve and care for others.  You have given, sacrificed, experienced, learned, cooked, cleaned, washed diapers, mopped up puke, worried, waited, taxied, kept records, made appointments, organized and done for others all your life.  They are gone and what do you have?  You have time, wisdom, experience and confidence.  Let it out!  God's children are called to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world. 

You are children - daughters - of the almighty God, sisters to His first born, Jesus Christ.  You are princesses of the King of Kings,  Ambassadors of Heaven itself.  Part of a royal priesthood.

Salt enhances taste.  Make life taste better for yourself by doing for yourself and enjoying things you never had time for.    Make a list of all the things you have always wished you had time for.  Then, prioritize and begin making them happen.  Attend a community play performance, take a class at the local vocational college, take a course on line, read a novel, attend an opera, play piano, join yoga class, get a pedicure, or a massage.  Call a friend for lunch.  Organize a book club.  Start a group to share memories and photos of your grandkids.  The list is endless.

Be the light of the world.  Where can you best show your inner light from the spirit of God within?  Through a smile.  People are friendlier and drawn to a smile.  A smile and a kind word or thoughtful gesture can make someone else's day.  The world is darker than ever so it is easier for us to shine.  Sometimes the smallest gesture can help someone else. Doing something nice for someone else (even a stranger) gets your thoughts off of your own problems.

I have a friend who has volunteered to care for her son's first baby while the baby's mother is at work.  She has given up her private time, exercise in the morning, errands and much of her socializing to speak "goo goo" talk.  I try to visit for a cup of coffee a couple times a week.  It means so much to her to be able to share an hour with an adult.

 When the clerk at the store ask's you how you are doing, don't tell her.  She was being coached to ask.  Instead, tell her you are great and ask how she is doing.  I am amazed every time I do this how surprised they are.  I am sure not too many people ask her how her day is going.  A friend of mine had a great idea:  If the checker at the store seems to be having a bad day, buy her one of the candy bars that are always near by.  That could soften the crabiest of crabs and make you a new friend.

Small efforts are often the biggest gestures.  Salt your life a little and you could light up the world - or, at least, your corner.

Amen

Friends: Closer Than Relatives

A couple of my closest friends and I have fallen into kidnapping.

On one of our birthdays, the other two plan the day and pay all expenses to something special.  (Any shopping, is at our own expense.)  Lunch and fees are paid by the other two.  If we take the "kidnappee" to a museum or movie, we pay for her part of the expense.  We also split the expense of her lunch.  We pick out the restaurant(s) and activities so it is all a big surprise to her.  It happens three times a year so it does not get boring or become too routine.  Since we live in a small rural town, we always go to the city or a larger town.

We have great fun: shop, eat, antique stores, museums,  historical places, tourist attractions, specialty stores and movies.  We always chose restaurants and activities that the birthday girl would like.  

We dress up, do our hair, buy silly birthday cards and look forward to these outings.

I have come to see how important friends are.  I did not make many friends when in school.  I was from the wrong side of the tracks and Kennedy was "busing" us into a "higher class" neighbor to force integration.  As a young adult, I was betrayed by a good friend in a way that changed the course of my life.  It took 15 years before I met someone that I could trust to be a friend.  I have been half way across the country from her for the past 26 years and 40 years later, we can still pick up the phone and talk as though we live next door.

 After high school, I "hit the ground running", as I chased after my career.  For 60 years I traveled across this country for work.  Sometimes I came home just long enough to unpack, do a little new work and repack for the next show.  I never knew my neighbors or made friends.  My friends were casual and in various states across this country.

Since I "retired" from all my traveling, I have gradually made friends and learned to value the connection that women have.  I can still count friends on one hand.  You know, the ones that you trust with a secret; the ones that know the most about you and still like you.

In the later part of our lives, we need this connection.  We especially need it when family takes on lives apart from ours and/or we lose a spouse.  Downsizing or moving into assisted living has got to be a huge transition and makes us face the end of our story in this life.  

GOOD NEWS:  It ain't over 'til it's over.  And, good friends can help each other weather all the transitions.  We can share our stories, pictures of our grandkids, a cup of tea, our childhood, Bible study or a cool breeze on the patio in the evening.  We have company to the doctor appointment, a trip to the grocery or someone to call when we need an emotional hug.

Make sure you have a friend to relate to and share time.  Friendship is a precious thing that I ignored for many years.  


The Bible says: 
Lk 7:6  A friend will do you a service
Acts 10:24  Peter had many friends
Acts 19:31  Paul had friends who warned him
Acts 27:3  A friend can provide for you in time of need
Pro 17:17  Solomon tells us a friend can be more reliable than family
Pro 27:6  A friend will always tell you the truth
Pro 27: 9  A friend give sincere advice
Pro 27:17  Friends benefit each other


Jesus' disciples were His "inner circle", close friends.  They shared food, wine, experiences, stories, difficult times and He loved them and prayed for them. 

Prov 18:24  This friend is the Holy Spirit and is a great source of comfort
Lk 12:14  Jesus calls us "friend"; you cannot have a better friend
Since my husband and I will be relocating from this area we presently live in it is going to be a major adjustment to leave my friends.  This has never been an issue before and it will be a major life change.  Of course, we say we will visit and call but the truth is that Facebook will most likely be the main contact.  My friends will find other friends and spend time with grandkids and life will take them ahead on their journey.  I will find other friends, hopefully.  It's just the way life is.  

An old saying comes to mine:  "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  This can apply to friends.  The friends will be distant but the memories will loom closer than ever.  And every time I remember how we laughed when we realized I had kept one footie on after leaving a shoe store and didn't discover it for hours later, I will smile to myself and say a prayer for everyone of the friends I have made on my journey.
Amen !

Worthless Old Lady ?

Do you feel like a worthless old lady?  Is your nest empty?  Do your children live in another town or state?  Do your grandchildren think you are old fashion?  Do you wander through the day from meal to meal?  Does it seem like all you have to do is watch the clock for your next pill?  Do you avoid your friends because they just complain?  Are you too involved with what others are doing to live their life?  Do you feel no one wants you, you are worthless?

STOP IT   ! ! ! !

This is a wonderful time of your life.  You are no longer on someone else's time schedule.  You do not have to spend all your time thinking of others.   Your children do not need driven to school, ball games and piano lessons.  You don’t have mountains of laundry and piles of dishes.  You don’t have to put supper on the table for a full family by six at night.  You don’t have to get up in the middle of the night with sick children puking on the way to the bathroom.  You don’t have to get up at 5:00 am to pack a lunch.  You don’t have deadlines and a boss to answer to.  You don’t have errands to the vet, a double batch of cupcakes for the PTA and a long grocery list.   You have spare time.  You have wisdom, knowledge and experience.  You have paid your dues.   You are free!  

You have time to do so many of the things you used to wish you could do for years:  Bible study, read a good book, call a friend for lunch, embroider, paint, take a pottery class, mentor at a school, learn to play an instrument, primp in front of the mirror, paint your toenails.  Can’t reach them?  Paint your nails - an outrageous color.  Join a group playing cards, board games, cards or a pool game.  How about a Yoga class?  Great exercise to limber you up and release new energy.  All classes allow for beginners and mature women.  How about your mending?  Hem a dress and feel daring.  Hem for someone who can’t. 

I like plants.  They freshen the air.  They grow.  I talk to them.  They require time to prune, water, clean and feed.  It is rewarding to make something grow.


 For those over 55, our local Vo Tech offers classes for free.  Take up art, painting, learn to operate your computer or smart phone, cooking class, first aide, stain glass, upholstery - even welding or carpentry.  Check into a local drama club.  You can always volunteer to help if you have that need: church, schools, library or hospital. 




Cooking:  Single?  Live alone?  You can freeze in small containers for easy use later - when you have a class to go to.  You can also freeze cupcakes and cookies for personal use or that Bunko game you are going to.  I tell you, you can make new friends if you have a pie.  Make a pot of soup, or a casserole, and freeze for winter suppers.  Exchange meals with a friend.  Don’t use “just me” or “only the two of us” to keep you from healthy eating.



Idea: Make a practical Bucket List and set out to fulfill it.  My Bucket List includes running a zip line.

Here’s a great idea:  SMILE !  It releases endorphins that are healing and stimulates pleasure sensations.  Stand in front of a mirror and make faces - just for laughs.  You will also find out that more people want to be around you and visit with you.  You can become a one woman ambassador for Christ.  Just be positive, get out, smile, go somewhere.  No one likes a sour puss and a smile works wonders, especially on an older face.  You are pretty when you smile.



Look up U-Tube and search “funny”.  Funny: videos, animals, children, cats, and more.  There are U-Tube videos for learning how to do almost anything.   When I can’t get out for bad weather or have a cold or just get the “blahs”, I love to pull up some funny videos.  Another good time is when hubby has a ball game on the television.
 
Shut in?  Use the phone.  Call other shut ins and encourage them - tell a joke.   Learn how to operate your computer.  Learn almost anything on U-Tube.  Put in a patio garden in pots.  Keep up with friends and family on Facebook, BUT . . . don’t make it your life.

Afraid to go out?  Stop that, too.  God is with you.  He has taken care of you all your life.  He is not going to stop now.  Believing you can go and do is half the battle.  Pack your pills and take your phone for an emergency.  Ask a friend to join you for a movie or a picnic.  Start with short trips alone and expand your distance along with your confidence.  Book a cabin at a lake to sit on the porch, watch all the people and take a walk in nature.  Share expenses with a friend.  You might even meet some nice people.  

Do silly things - just for fun.  Wear a hat, or a turban.  Put some funny pins on it.  Dress different: bright colors, shorter hem, pants under the dress.  Wear a T-shirt with jeans, red lipstick and big ear rings.  Dye your hair with Jello.  It is a fad with the younger kids right now.  You have a large choice of colors and it gradually washes out.  (My hair has purple high lights right now.)  You can buy a temporary tattoo from the dollar store - just for fun.  I have a couple in my vanity drawer as I write.  They wash off.

Gather a couple friends for an evening of old fashion pajama party.  So what if you all fall asleep by nine.  Watch a funny movie and eat junk food.  Have a make up party.  Bring hand mirrors and make up with eye shadows, bright colored nail polish and lots of jewelry.  Style each others hair.  You might just find a new look that you like.  Blow bubbles.  The liquid kind in a bottle like the kids use or bubble gum - if your dentures are secure. Have a photo session and take pictures of each other being silly - makes a great album to laugh at.  Tell funny stories about growing up.

Flirt!  I love this one.  For the first time in my life, I can flirt with young good looking guys and they think I am cute.  Wives are not jealous and everyone takes it in stride.  I love to tell them how good looking they are.  Then, I add, “If I were 50 years younger, I would chase you until you caught me.”  Then, smile. 

Warning!  Your stick-in-the-mud friends and family will think you have lost it.  Your family might want you to come visit so they can check you out first hand.  Your sour friends will be jealous of the fun you are having.  But, you will be having fun, looking forward to getting out of bed in the morning, have more energy and your blood pressure just might drop a point or two.

Wisdom: What you believe, is what is.  If you believe your life is over, it’s is.  Personally, as long as I am breathing, I have life in some form.

“It’s too late” will kill you.  It's never too late.  God has blessed you with life.  
The Bible calls life a blessing and death a curse.  Appreciate it.  Use it.  God Himself wants to see you happy.
Sweetheart, it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

Amen

My Personal God

"My God" has made Himself personal to me:

I called on Him when I prayed "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" during my parents divorce.  I was seven years old and He made His presence known to me.

He put His wings around me during the abuse I endured at the hands of a stepfather, and sent me a savior; my grandfather.

He advised me when I was molested by three teen boys at a bus stop. I was 16.

When there was disappointment over missing high school graduation, due to minor surgery, He was there holding my hand.

I held fast to Him through the loss of two children at birth.

During marriage to an alcoholic, He advised me through His spirit.

He was there to console me after the death of Grandfather, the only earthly father I have known.

An angel, in the form of a police officer, was sent when my brakes failed early one morning on busy city streets.

I prayed "Our Father" in an ambulance after a car accident.  It left me with 44 stitches to my face, a broken foot and crushed vertebra, but He chose to spare my life.

Late one evening, in New York, He sent an angel to perform a miracle and save me from an assault in a public parking lot. 

Again, He held my hand during surgery for malignant tumors, consoled me when I learned that I would never have children and held my hand during the hysterectomy ten years later.

I had traveled across this country for forty-five years to sell my art work.  I remember dangerous driving conditions, storms in the mountains, icey roads and being lost - a lot.  My God was sitting next to me in the passenger seat every inch of the way.

In Alabama, He sent an angel with yet another miracle to keep me from an auto accident with two little girls in my car. 

During a time of great depression, from many wrong choices through the years, He spoke and saved me from suicide.

He has loved me from my conception, with a plan for my life.  Thirty-five years ago, my God placed me in His church, changed my life and my way of thinking and, twenty-six years ago gave me my greatest earthy treasure, a husband who truly loves me.

My God bandaged emotional wounds and started the healing.  He has always made Himself personal to my needs.

He sent me a healer and holds my hand every time I take a treatment for liver failure.

He stepped in to fill a huge void when my mother died and consoles a great loss, again, when my brother died young.

A compound fracture in my ankle was set without anesthetic by a strange doctor in a strange hospital in a city far from home.  I was alone for surgery - except for my God.

Throughout my life, and even now, my God has been with me every minute to make sure I did not suffer more than I could bare.  He has been there watching, teaching, protecting; keeping my heart, my body and my soul in His ever gentle arms.

My God took hate, fear and guilt and replaced them with joy, compassion and peace.

My God is the magnificent "I Am" who made time and space and lives on the sides of the north in the third heaven.  Every existence exists in His thought.  He knows every inch of every star in the universe, every grain of sand on every beach and cares enough about me to know how many hairs are on my head - He is the keeper of my soul.

My God loves, protects, blesses, teaches, comforts, heals and answers my prayers. Getting to know Him is a lifetime of joy and amazement.

The Christian life is not easy but the rewards are great.
Amen

A Thought For Today

The next time you feel like God can't use you, just remember:

Noah got drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was cross eyed
Joseph was abused
Moses had a speech impediment
Gideon was afraid
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were young
David had an affair and planned a murder

Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
The apostles were under the age of 20
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while on watch
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, 5 times
Zaccheus was too short
Paul was a Pharisee 
Timothy had an ulcer
Lazarus was dead

No more excuses!  God can use you to your full potential.  Matter of fact, He uses the weak.  Everyone knows that you have a flaw.  If you let God use you, the world will know it was not you doing this great work - you are not capable.  Only God could have done it.  This is how He shows Himself - through the common sinful man.

Stop making excuses and let God use you to do miracles.  Be a miracle worker.
Amen

The Gospels - Matthew

In the four gospels, we find 89 chapters.  Four chapters are on the childhood of Jesus.  There are 12 chapters of the public ministry of Jesus in John alone. 

What Matthew could have looked like

NOTE:  The disciples were very young, most mere teenagers.  I will be writing on this in detail in the future.

The four gospels are referred to as "Synoptic" gospels.  Synoptic means "to view together".  Together they compose the complete life of our Savior. 

Matthew wrote with detailed precision, as the accountant that he was.  In Matthew we find Jesus portrayed as a king, symbolized by the lion, exalted and represented by the color purple, associated with royalty (although among Jews the color considered as royal is red).  The phrase, "kingdom of heaven" is only referenced in this book of the gospels.  Matthew has the most chapters, 28, probably because he wrote with a lot of detail.

This first of the gospels is written to Jews of prominence and shows Jesus geneology, through Joseph, back to King David thus proclaiming His physical claim to the throne in the kingdom of God.  The tribe of Judah is listed to show His Jewish kinship as coming from the chosen people; Jesus being THE chosen one.   It does not state that Jesus was begotten of Joseph because there was no physical connection.  In the begats of Mt, chapt. 1, we find the four gentile women listed:  Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba (listed as Uriah's wife).  A few names were left out because they were not worthy.  In AD 17, Romans burned all archives.

NOTE: Most often non believers are not mentioned by name in the Bible, but these women were and/or became believers based on evidence in their stories.

NOTE:  Matthew records three sets of 14 generations: 3x14 = 42 months = 3 1/2 years: the time of tribulation.  The first set of generations runs Abraham thru David; the second runs David thru Babylon and the third runs Babylon thru Jesus.  These reference morning, noon and evening of the time of this age.

In those days, tax collectors cheated and stole from their own people - the worst of the worst.  People despised tax collectors, did not trust and shunned them.    Matthew was, actually, serving another country (Rome).  He had given an oath to Ceasar, as a God.   He was considered a traitor of his people for the love of money - a type of idol worship.  To his credit, in Mt 9:9, Jesus said two words, "Follow Me", and Matthew did.  Jesus explains his choice in 9:12.

Matthew, writing to prominent Jews, records the visit of the Magi and their dealings with king Herod (Herod, Heb: "Evil").  (I have read an account showing Herod as descendant of Esau.) 

in Mt 2:2 we find a parallel to Gen 3:9:  In Genesis, is the first question in the Bible,  "Where are you?"; God asked of Adam.   Adam, the first man, was hiding from God from the guilt of his sin.  Here, Mt 2:2, is the question from the Magi (a class of priests among the Persians and Medes who formed the kings privy council) inquiring about the second Adam, Jesus, who came to do the job that Adam failed at: uniting man's relationship with God.

In Mt 2:13 we are told of the escape into Egypt; Egypt translates "stress".  This is very interesting not only in this story but also the story of Moses saving the Israelites out of Egypt (stress).

We see the humility of John the Baptist in Mt 3:11

In the baptism of Jesus, we see the Holy Spirit, in symbol of a dove, lighting on Jesus.  (See Ps 2:7)  In Gen 8:9, the dove found no resting place from the ark.  The dove would not land on dead bodies of the condemned/condemnation.  The Holy Spirit cannot rest on us under condemnation.  The Holy Spirit, in Matthew, found no condemnation in Jesus - only grace.

When Satan tells Jesus to turn stones to bread in Mt 4:3, he is telling Him to get fed from the law (the 10 Commandments were written on stone).  Jesus refused because He came to fulfill the law NOT to enforce it.

In 4:20, it is interesting to note the phrase "I will send you out to fish for men/people" was originally, in Greek, "Let me be your guide".  Further in verse 20, "followed him" is "became His disciples", in the original Greek.  These differences in wording do put a slightly different slant to the meaning.

In Mt 10 we find the first commission assigned to the apostles.  Verse 11:25, "little children" originally read "disciples" who actually are children in their stage of spiritual growth.  Chapt. 12:31&32 reveals what might be the "unpardonable sin".  

It is very interesting, in lieu of Matthew's view of Jesus as King, that in verse 21:3 he refers to Him as THE Lord (not "my" Lord). 

Many parables are recorded by Matthew along with Peter's declaration, Jesus prediction of His death, the transfiguration, healing, divorce, the little children, His entry into Jerusalem, taxes, hypocrisy, woe to teachers of the law, signs of the end time, the plot against Him, last supper, the garden, His arrest, trial, Peter's denial, crucifixion, burial and ends with His resurrection.  

I find it interesting in 27:25, "All the people [Jews] answered, "His blood is on us and on our children!"  Surely, they had no idea what a curse they were pronouncing on generations.

This record ends with the resurrection, ascension and promise to be "with you always, to the very end of the age.".  
Amen
  
* I'll be back in a few days with notes on the book of Mark.

A Short Thought

During a recent Sunday School class discussion, there were comments on how to forgive those who wrong you or for whatever reason, you don't like or don't want to be around.

One comment has stayed with me and I would like to share it with you:

When there is someone that you need to forgive (for any reason), or just accept, imagine that Jesus is standing behind them and saying to you, "I love them".

This is a very interesting exercise and I have to admit it is working for me.
Amen

Be An Example, James 1:27

I was shopping with a friend one day when she sped up her car to keep me from handing a couple dollars to a man on side of the road with a sign asking for food money.  She explained to me that so many people in the city, asking for financial help don't actually need it; they are con artist.  I will admit she has a point.  There are just such people out there taking advantage of the good spirit of many. 

To prove a point, I went to Strong's Concordance and looked up the word "give".  There are five pages of verses with the word "give" quoted.  That does not even include "giver", "given" or "giving".  Of course, there are more verses about what God gives to us than those commanding us to give.  However, if God can give us so much, shouldn't we pass along to others?

Here are a few of those verses:
Gen 14:20- Then Abraham GAVE Melchizedek a tenth of everything
Pro 25:21 - If your enemy is hungry, give him food
Mt 10:8 - freely you have received, freely give
Mk 6:37 - Give them something to eat
Mk 10:21 - Give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven
Mk 12:17 - Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's
Lk 6:30 - Give to everyone who asks of you
Lk 11:9 - Ask and it will be given you
Acts 3:6 - Peter offered all he had
Ro 12:20 - If your enemy is thirsty, give him something to drink
Jms 2:16 - Help with physical needs
Jms 1:27  (My personal favorite)  Pure religion is caring for widows and orphans


Although we need to discern in our giving (that's just being responsible with what we have), nowhere are we told to question who we give to or what they will do with what we give.  We are merely told to give to others, especially if they ask of us.

With some American Indian blood running through my veins, I am reminded of a teaching from my youth that says:  When you have a successful hunt, you are to share with anyone who asks.  During the days when I was returning from a successful art show, I remember many times there were people with signs, asking for help.  In Iowa, I was approached in a parking garage for food for a hungry family.  Stopping for gas on I-70, I was asked for a donation for cleaning my windshield.  I laughed to myself as I drove off with a windshield dirtier than when the man started.  

In Ohio, I was looking for a place to have breakfast and called to a man, on the corner, with a sign to join me.  It was a fascinating meal, listening to him talk about high school and his family.  The waitresses all knew him.  It seems he frequented this particular corner.  He ate breakfast and ordered lunch to go.

Times when I was not asked:  There was the faces of three boys in a dollar store who were short some change to pay for a couple trinkets, when I made up the difference.  Or the Indian boys, in Oklahoma, who had only pennies for ice cream that cost more than a dollar.  They were amazed to get help for the sweet treat. 

I remember a woman in a diner in South Dakota trying to get attention to be seated and being ignored.  She was not dirty, just an old Indian woman, with a couple dollars for pie and coffee.  I sat her down with me and demanded a menu for her.  It was enlightening to listen to her talk about her life on the reservation and where she lived now.  She had ordered a four course meal with lots of coffee, boxed up everything she could not finish, along with desert, and asked for quarters to do her laundry.  I wrote her name in my Bible so to never forget and still pray for that poor unfortunate.

This text is not written to brag but to show an example, ITim 4:12.  Many, many people do so much more than my occasional small treats.  My point is that we do not have to give huge amounts to impact someone.  And, I was rewarded by being so well entertained.  People have stories we are not aware of.  It takes our mind off ourselves for a few minutes and reminds us that others also suffer and so often more than we do.  I need to help others to keep myself humble. 

Amen

"I Am A Christian"

Not too long ago, I was in our local dollar store to pick up some household items.

I wasn't in the store very long when I heard a  woman's voice that sounded upset.  Naturally, as a "curious" person, I wanted to know what was going on; so . . . I listened.  I mean, it didn't take much straining to hear her.  This woman had the kind of voice that seems to permeate the atmosphere.  (Know what I mean?)

She was asking about the price of an item.  No idea what the item was and it is not important.  She was at the register complaining that a price had been rung up that was incorrect.  The clerk was explaining that it was the price listed in the register.  The lady customer was countering, emphatically, that the price on the shelf, where she found it, was different than the price being rung up.  We've all been there.  And, it does happen that a  price can be in the register that has not been changed for a sale.  This lady did not seem to be considering the possibility of an excusable error.  In fact, she was getting quite agitated.   After a couple minutes of discussion with the clerk was getting her nowhere, she asked for the manager.  As far as I can remember, the price difference was just a matter of less than a dollar.

The manager was prompt on the scene and asked the customer to show her on what shelf in the store she found the price of this item.  The customer marched the manager straight to the shelf with the price.  The manager, seeing the issue immediately, patiently explained that her item was not in the correct location in the store.  The manager further explained that people frequently pick up items and leave them in different locations when they change their mind about a purchase.  

Apparently, this lady did not like her answer.  Her agitation was growing as could be witnessed by her volume.  Here and now, I can no longer be accused of eaves dropping; the entire occupancy of the store was within hearing range.  

The manager was leading her customer back to the register to settle the situation.  A line of customers was forming and half of this woman's purchases had been rung up.  We were in the middle of a "incomplete checkout".   


Discussion continued further as the customer was getting more and more upset.  She was insisting on the price that was on the shelf where she found the item in question.  The manager, to her credit, was even in tone, volume and patience as she continued to repeat the actuality of the situation.  This customer, for whatever reason, finally relinquished and very sharply declared, "Well, then, I don't want it." 

By this time, I had joined the line of waiting customers and could witness the situation first hand.  With, pursed lips this lady refused to say another word, pushed her money into the hand of the manager, threw her change into her purse and mumbled something under her breath.

As she turned with her cart, I could see her purse in the baby seat, which sported a decal that declared, "I am a Christian".

Amen

My Story - Epilogue

Yeah, my story has a great ending.  

Looking back over my life, I can see how blessed I am.  All the trials have made me who I am today.  Perfect?  No!  But, I have learned, matured, grown spiritually, come into a personal relationship with God and am so grateful for all of it.

God did not do any of the bad things.  People were given free choice from the time of Adam and Eve.  My parents made choices and I made my choices in response to their actions.  It is obvious that I made poor choices - one after another for many years.  And, look how it just spiraled to that turning point with the loaded gun.

God does not do bad  God is total, complete love.  As a good father, He created us and knows what we need and want better than we do.  It's not easy to trust a spiritual being when everything we relate to is physical.  Faith and belief are not easy in this world.  It takes a desire and a lot of practice - a lot of trial and error.  Not to worry, the blood of Jesus covers the believer's mistakes.  You get a "do over" - every time!  Keep doing it over until you get it right.  It starts with your first step.  Jesus does not push; He waits.  You have to take the first step in faith and practice belief.  Here is another easy part:  if you need faith, just ask for it.  That first step is submission by getting on you knees and asking for everything you lack.  The father's love makes it easy.

The enemy knows where we are most vulnerable.  He knows every weak spot.  He prowls the earth like a hungry lion searching for who he can devour.  Constantly in our head whispering everything negative and telling us we are not worthy; prodding us to do and be everything Jesus is not. 

God turns bad to good:
Because my father left, I got to know an amazing grandfather.

Because of the sexual abuse, I learned to cherish physical relationship as the ultimate expression of love within the privacy of marriage.

Because I was betrayed by a close friend, I know how to be a friend.

Because of the molestings, I am cautious and aware of my surroundings.

Because of poor choices in husbands, I learned to let God have His way.  

Because I lost children, I have a passion for them.

Because of many trials, I was blessed with amazing friendships for support. 

Because of a restless spirit, I have traveled all over this country, been places, seen things and met all sorts of people. 

Because . . . because . . . because . . . get it?

My husband and I are not wealthy but we have everything we need; what a great blessing.  Sometimes, I feel downright rich. 
Note:  We have learned that any time we get a financial windfall (like a bonus at work or I sell art I was not offering), to hold on to it for awhile before we spend it.  Many times, a reason for the money comes shortly after we receive it.  So many times, God has provided BEFORE the need.  What a blessing to be able to ask our Heavenly Father for advice in every part of our daily lives.  When the answer is immediate or obvious, our faith gets a boost.  Fear fades and confidence grows.

As we mature in our relationship with Jesus, we have learned how to be grateful and show daily praise.  We are making Him the center of our married lives.  He shows us His amazing love and understanding time and again.  Our lives have become miracles.
Amen