You know, for the past few days, I have been dealing with medication issues. At 71, I have been so blessed to be on only one prescription drug - blood pressure. It runs rampant in my family. Recently, my prescription no longer works. I hate drugs and for other health reasons need to stay away from as many as I possibly can. I take lots of herbs and vitamins for prevention, exercise, drink lots of water and try to be cautious of what I eat.
I refuse to be that old lady who sits with friends and discusses her doctor appointments, prescription drugs and side effects while waiting for my next meal. Had to make an emergency run to the hospital when my blood pressure went over 200; elevated 30 points in just half an hour.
We decided to make an emergency run to an Emergency Room about 10:00 pm. My husband was concerned about some road construction so we took and alternate route. Just minutes after using our detour, there was a single head light looming on the horizon. As we got closer, Steven slowed down realizing the light was stationary.
In my travels, I have had the opportunity to drive through some harrowing situations and this brought one to mind. A time when going through the Appalacian's, I had to pass through an area where people were putting things in the road (fires, trees, effigy figures) to stop cars for the purpose of robbery. This came to my mind. I was uncomfortable with him stopping and slowing down was giving me concern - just from a past memory. We are in a rural area that has never had such an issue. Funny how our minds work.
As we approached the light, it became obvious that it was one working headlight on a car that was stopped with the entire front looking like a wadded piece of tin foil. There was a young couple in the road behind the car, pacing with a flashlight. We stopped to inquire of the situation. They had no phone, the young woman was in early stages of pregnancy and had blood on her. She was in shock and ranting about a rented car, hitting a cow and what they would do about the car. The young man was pacing with her, scanning her with the flashlight for cuts and she kept saying she was pregnant but that she was "okay". It is only providence of God that I had my phone with me.
My husband's phone is for work use only and he left it on his desk at home. I only turn mine on when away from home so he can reach me. Seldom do I carry it if I am with Steven. I called 911 emergency and reached a town 45 miles away. It took awhile to get reconnected to the correct county, decide what county road we were on, what was the closest EMT, exactly where we were and establish the fact that we were not the victims but rather on our way to the ER for help ourselves. Can you believe this? My husband was getting stressed but I found it to be quite amusing. All I could think was, "Something strange happened on our way to the ER". Soon, other vehicles approached with phones, willingness to help and more knowledge of the area than we had. We were soon back to our personal objective.
Long story short, we spent several hours at the ER with a wonderful nurse and an amazing D.O. who was 75 years old. I love old family doctors. They are the real knowledge - Too few and far between. I am adjusting to new medication while being monitored and feel there was a reason we were on that road at that time on that night. Prayers are sent up for that couple - who did not show up at the hospital we went to.
What was God up to? Others were on that same road with phones. We were the first to arrive - on our own emergency mission. Why did that couple not have a phone? I thought everyone but Steven and I had phones. That exact place and time came together. We will never know their names or see them again. I wonder about the young woman and her unborn baby. My heart goes out; she was in obvious shock. Was it a test for us to stop? Was it a test for someone else on that road that night? We could have been minutes earlier and hit the cow ourselves. We never know but God is always aware and close. He shields and protects His children.
I am confused about His reasoning but God is good.
Amen
P.S. It was a cow - a large one and she was dead.
Yeah, my story has a great ending.
Looking back over my life, I can see how blessed I am. All the trials have made me who I am today. Perfect? No! But, I have learned, matured, grown spiritually, come into a personal relationship with God and am so grateful for all of it.
God did not do any of the bad things. People were given free choice from the time of Adam and Eve. My parents made choices and I made my choices in response to their actions. It is obvious that I made poor choices - one after another for many years. And, look how it just spiraled to that turning point with the loaded gun.
God does not do bad God is total, complete love. As a good father, He created us and knows what we need and want better than we do. It's not easy to trust a spiritual being when everything we relate to is physical. Faith and belief are not easy in this world. It takes a desire and a lot of practice - a lot of trial and error. Not to worry, the blood of Jesus covers the believer's mistakes. You get a "do over" - every time! Keep doing it over until you get it right. It starts with your first step. Jesus does not push; He waits. You have to take the first step in faith and practice belief. Here is another easy part: if you need faith, just ask for it. That first step is submission by getting on you knees and asking for everything you lack. The father's love makes it easy.
The enemy knows where we are most vulnerable. He knows every weak spot. He prowls the earth like a hungry lion searching for who he can devour. Constantly in our head whispering everything negative and telling us we are not worthy; prodding us to do and be everything Jesus is not.
God turns bad to good:
Because my father left, I got to know an amazing grandfather.
Because of the sexual abuse, I learned to cherish physical relationship as the ultimate expression of love within the privacy of marriage.
Because I was betrayed by a close friend, I know how to be a friend.
Because of the molestings, I am cautious and aware of my surroundings.
Because of poor choices in husbands, I learned to let God have His way.
Because I lost children, I have a passion for them.
Because of many trials, I was blessed with amazing friendships for support.
Because of a restless spirit, I have traveled all over this country, been places, seen things and met all sorts of people.
Because . . . because . . . because . . . get it?
My husband and I are not wealthy but we have everything we need; what a great blessing. Sometimes, I feel downright rich.
Note: We have learned that any time we get a financial windfall (like a bonus at work or I sell art I was not offering), to hold on to it for awhile before we spend it. Many times, a reason for the money comes shortly after we receive it. So many times, God has provided BEFORE the need. What a blessing to be able to ask our Heavenly Father for advice in every part of our daily lives. When the answer is immediate or obvious, our faith gets a boost. Fear fades and confidence grows.
As we mature in our relationship with Jesus, we have learned how to be grateful and show daily praise. We are making Him the center of our married lives. He shows us His amazing love and understanding time and again. Our lives have become miracles.
Amen
Privacy is something I value highly. When we relocate, I will pack personal things so movers don't come in and pack the contents of my underwear drawer or see my toiletries. I never could share a bathroom with a husband and have only two friends I will share a motel room with. If I don't get "alone time", you can't stand to have me around. Anyone out there understand what I am saying?
That said, when it comes to my past, I am an open book. Like everyone else, I have had trials, temptations, failures and embarrassments. I don't believe in regret. I made bad choices (for whatever reason) and they were my choices. I like to think that I have learned from them. After all, I did do a full turn around at one point in my life. There were times of great sorrow, fear, worthlessness and loneliness. I have felt "lonely" but never "alone".
When I say that I did a full turnaround and repented of a life style, I don't mean all of a sudden I realized there was a loving being out there that created everything and His son came to save me to eternal life by paying the debt for everything I did wrong; although, all of that is true. The thing is, I cannot remember a time in my life when I was not aware of God and His presence. And, I can remember back to the time I was still sleeping in a crib.
It amazes me that people do discover God in there teen years or even later in life. They have great epiphany, a moment of awareness - that "aha moment". I have a bit of jealousy for that. It's like I missed out on all the excitement. On the other hand, friends have told me that they envy the fact that I have always had this awareness just like many others - I am not unique. Neither am I different. We have trouble seeing our own life as valuable.
Okay, all this being said, let's get back to my story. I once offered to give my testimony in church. My pastor, at the time, had me jot down some highlights for review. He called me into his study and denied my request on the grounds that "no one will believe it" - ? Huh?
I know that I have had an active life of varied interests, jobs, a career and, as stated before, great changes. I am also far passed retirement age, so it has been a rather lengthy life. The longer your life, the more stuff happens! To keep this writing within some boundaries, I am using key words in summary form so you can get the idea without a lot of lengthy (and boring) script. This also keeps my private side happy because I do not have to disclose all the embarrassing details.
As first born, Mother dedicated me at birth and sent me to church from the time I could step onto the bus. Things were pretty middle-income-normal until I was eight years old.
Parents divorced
grandfather moved in
no financial support from my father
first experience with rejection from a man
father never answered any correspondence
moved to a less expensive neighbor hood = inner city (big city)
dislexic before there was dislexia = thought I was stupid
step father = sexual abuse (me and my sister)
teenage baptism
molested by three teens on way to work
pregnant at 17 = gave up art scholarship
high school graduation = stopped going to church
lost two children at birth
married and moved to Boston - moved to Long Island
betrayal by closest friend; changed the course of my life
husband cheated = another rejection and divorce
attacked by man in parking lot
married an alcoholic
various menial jobs
socialized in dive bars = all sorts of people
major auto accident - 44 stitches to face
grandfather died - my only earthly father
partial hysterectomy
husband cheated = another rejection and divorce
found a roommate
single girl for awhile = dating
out of body experience
traveled = selling my art work
married a businessman = he traveled
he had two daughters = I was a step mother
moved to Alabama = nice home, pool, country club
continued traveling and selling art
husband turned out to be an embezzler
he cheated = another divorce and rejection
single scene again
still traveling with art work
met a portrait artist and became her apprentice = hired agents
continued travel
complete hysterectomy
married a country boy from Alabama = step mom, again
different life style in the "back woods"
he had a country band = I ran sound system
opened small town business = framing and portrait studio
he dealt in drugs = I went back to church
he cheated = devastating divorce
considered suicide - had loaded gun in hand
got baptized and took it serious
* No wonder the pastor said, "No one would believe it".
The out of body experience opened my eyes to my life style but I am a stubborn person and it was years later before I made major changes. There were highlights along the wrong path: travel, people and I never lost that feeling of God's presence.
I took that baptism 35 years ago serious and, like the prodigal son, my (heavenly) Father welcomed me back with open arms and all the blessings of my heritage that were just waiting for me. Imagine that! All I had to do was "come home". (I am reminded of the Proverb: Raise a child up in the way He should go and he will not depart from it.) My marriage, of 26 years, is to a great Christian man who is "the wind beneath my wings". My business became successful. Fear and anger no longer rule over me.
It did not happen over night. There were trials and many errors along the way: health issues, decisions and major adjustments. During this time, I learned to let God have control and it has made all the difference.
Lately, I have been reminded that we all have a story and as Christians, we need to share it with others. It can take us out of our comfort zone but it is our story of how God, our Father, molds us to become what He calls us to. Just maybe your story can help someone else. If we just plant the seed, God will make it grow somewhere.
Amen!
Sometimes we just need to hear it.
We definitely need to know it.
Are you depressed? Sad? Confused? Lost? Lonely? Lost control?
Talk to God.
I know, it sounds too simple. It is a cliche'. Maybe it's a cliché because it works. He loves you as an individual. He knew you in your mother's womb. He knows every thought you have and loves you anyway. He cannot not love you. He is the total capsulation of love.
You don't have to go to a great cathedral and use fancy words. Talk to Him while you work. Sit down with a cup of tea and talk to Him. Worried coworkers will think you crazy? Just project your thoughts His way. He can read your mind. He knows the secrets in your heart and mind that you have buried. He understands what you feel. Of course He will hear you. We so often underestimate Him.
Read His word. Don't know where to start? John is a great book. Try the Palms or Proverbs. You can find reassurance and answers there. What day of the month is it? Pick that number and read that Psalm or that chapter of Proverbs. He will speak to you.
Think of how much He loves you. A mighty spiritual being that lives outside of time and space made Himself a minute speck of flesh and blood to become acquainted with what it feels like to be human. He left His place of serene paradise to come to this earth of pain and suffering to know you; to spend time with people; and, He enjoyed life.
Then, He made the ultimate sacrifice to be tortured beyond recognition and die in agony so we might have a chance to know that serenity in paradise with Him forever.
Think on the calm, quiet, still, order and health He offers you. Just sit and think about it.
What do you need? Ask Him for it. Nothing fancy here, either. All you need to do is think what you need and direct those thoughts toward Him. He already knows but just wants enough faith from you for you to ask. Your Father wants to give you your hearts desires; to see you happy and well.
Then, thank Him. Thank Him and go on with your day believing that this Man/God loves you so much that your slightest want or need is His absolute joy to give you.
Jesus loves YOU
What a beautiful God we have.
Amen
To God's holy people in this world, Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
(Paraphrased greeting from Apostle Paul to the Ephesians)
On this quiet Sunday morning, I would like to share my favorite psalm with you: Psalm 91
Whoever dwells in the secret place of the Most High (Jesus)
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God in whom I trust".
Surely He will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror by night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, "The Lord is my refuge",
and you make the Most High your dwelling
no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For He will command His angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because He loves me," says the Lord,
"I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
This is a promise of protection to all who believe in Him. What a wonderful protective father is our God.
Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.
(Eph 6:24)
Amen
