On one of our birthdays, the other two plan the day and pay all expenses to something special. (Any shopping, is at our own expense.) Lunch and fees are paid by the other two. If we take the "kidnappee" to a museum or movie, we pay for her part of the expense. We also split the expense of her lunch. We pick out the restaurant(s) and activities so it is all a big surprise to her. It happens three times a year so it does not get boring or become too routine. Since we live in a small rural town, we always go to the city or a larger town.
We have great fun: shop, eat, antique stores, museums, historical places, tourist attractions, specialty stores and movies. We always chose restaurants and activities that the birthday girl would like. We dress up, do our hair, buy silly birthday cards and look forward to these outings.
I have come to see how important friends are. I did not make many friends when in school. I was from the wrong side of the tracks and Kennedy was "busing" us into a "higher class" neighbor to force integration. As a young adult, I was betrayed by a good friend in a way that changed the course of my life. It took 15 years before I met someone that I could trust to be a friend. I have been half way across the country from her for the past 26 years and 40 years later, we can still pick up the phone and talk as though we live next door.
Since I "retired" from all my traveling, I have gradually made friends and learned to value the connection that women have. I can still count friends on one hand. You know, the ones that you trust with a secret; the ones that know the most about you and still like you.In the later part of our lives, we need this connection. We especially need it when family takes on lives apart from ours and/or we lose a spouse. Downsizing or moving into assisted living has got to be a huge transition and makes us face the end of our story in this life.
GOOD NEWS: It ain't over 'til it's over. And, good friends can help each other weather all the transitions. We can share our stories, pictures of our grandkids, a cup of tea, our childhood, Bible study or a cool breeze on the patio in the evening. We have company to the doctor appointment, a trip to the grocery or someone to call when we need an emotional hug.Make sure you have a friend to relate to and share time. Friendship is a precious thing that I ignored for many years.
The Bible says:
Lk 7:6 A friend will do you a service
Acts 10:24 Peter had many friends
Acts 19:31 Paul had friends who warned him
Acts 27:3 A friend can provide for you in time of need
Pro 17:17 Solomon tells us a friend can be more reliable than family
Pro 27:6 A friend will always tell you the truth
Pro 27: 9 A friend give sincere advice
Pro 27:17 Friends benefit each other
Jesus' disciples were His "inner circle", close friends. They shared food, wine, experiences, stories, difficult times and He loved them and prayed for them.
Prov 18:24 This friend is the Holy Spirit and is a great source of comfort Lk 12:14 Jesus calls us "friend"; you cannot have a better friend
Since my husband and I will be relocating from this area we presently live in it is going to be a major adjustment to leave my friends. This has never been an issue before and it will be a major life change. Of course, we say we will visit and call but the truth is that Facebook will most likely be the main contact. My friends will find other friends and spend time with grandkids and life will take them ahead on their journey. I will find other friends, hopefully. It's just the way life is.
An old saying comes to mine: "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." This can apply to friends. The friends will be distant but the memories will loom closer than ever. And every time I remember how we laughed when we realized I had kept one footie on after leaving a shoe store and didn't discover it for hours later, I will smile to myself and say a prayer for everyone of the friends I have made on my journey.
Amen !
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