My Story

Privacy is something I value highly.  When we relocate, I will pack personal things so movers don't come in and pack the contents of my underwear drawer or see my toiletries.  I never could share a bathroom with a husband and have only two friends I will share a motel room with.  If I don't get "alone time", you can't stand to have me around.  Anyone out there understand what I am saying?

That said, when it comes to my past, I am an open book.  Like everyone else, I have had trials, temptations, failures and embarrassments.  I don't believe in regret.  I made bad choices (for whatever reason) and they were my choices.  I like to think that I have learned from them.  After all, I did do a full turn around at one point in my life.  There were times of great sorrow, fear, worthlessness and loneliness.  I have felt "lonely" but never "alone".

When I say that I did a full turnaround and repented of a life style, I don't mean all of a sudden I realized there was a loving being out there that created everything and His son came to save me to eternal life by paying the debt for everything I did wrong; although, all of that is true.  The thing is, I cannot remember a time in my life when I was not aware of God and His presence.   And, I can remember back to the time I was still sleeping in a crib. 

It amazes me that people do discover God in there teen years or even later in life.  They have great epiphany, a moment of awareness - that "aha moment".  I have a bit of jealousy for that.  It's like I missed out on all the excitement.  On the other hand, friends have told me that they envy the fact that I have always had this awareness just like many others - I am not unique.  Neither am I different.  We have trouble seeing our own life as valuable.

Okay, all this being said, let's get back to my story.   I once offered to give my testimony in church.  My pastor, at the time, had me jot down some highlights for review.  He called me into his study and denied my request on the grounds that "no one will believe it"  -  ?  Huh?  

I know that I have had an active life of varied interests, jobs, a career and, as stated before, great changes.  I am also far passed retirement age, so it has been a rather lengthy life.  The longer your life, the more stuff happens!  To keep this writing within some boundaries, I am using key words in summary form so you can get the idea without a lot of lengthy (and boring) script.    This also keeps my private side happy because I do not have to disclose all the embarrassing details.

As first born, Mother dedicated me at birth and sent me to church from the time I could step onto the bus. Things were pretty middle-income-normal until I was eight years old.
Parents divorced  
grandfather moved in
no financial support from my father  
first experience with rejection from a man
father never answered any correspondence
moved to a less expensive neighbor hood = inner city (big city)
dislexic before there was dislexia = thought I was stupid
step father = sexual abuse (me and my sister)
teenage baptism
molested by three teens on way to work
pregnant at 17 = gave up art scholarship
high school graduation = stopped going to church 
lost two children at birth
married and moved to Boston - moved to Long Island
betrayal by closest friend; changed the course of my life
husband cheated = another rejection and divorce
attacked by man in parking lot
married an alcoholic
various menial jobs
socialized in dive bars = all sorts of people
major auto accident - 44 stitches to face
grandfather died - my only earthly father
partial hysterectomy 
husband cheated = another rejection and divorce
found a roommate
single girl for awhile = dating
out of body experience
traveled = selling my art work
married a businessman = he traveled
he had two daughters = I was a step mother
moved to Alabama = nice home, pool, country club
continued traveling and selling art
husband turned out to be an embezzler
he cheated = another divorce and rejection
single scene again
still traveling with art work
met a portrait artist and became her apprentice = hired agents
continued travel 
complete hysterectomy 
married a country boy from Alabama = step mom, again
different life style in the "back woods"
he had a country band = I ran sound system
opened small town business = framing and portrait studio
he dealt in drugs = I went back to church
he cheated =  devastating divorce
considered suicide - had loaded gun in hand
got baptized and took it serious  
* No wonder the pastor said, "No one would believe it".

The out of body experience opened my eyes to my life style but I am a stubborn person and it was years later before I made major changes.  There were  highlights along the wrong path: travel, people and I never lost that feeling of God's presence.

I took that baptism 35 years ago serious and, like the prodigal son, my (heavenly) Father welcomed me back with open arms and all the blessings of my heritage that were just waiting for me.   Imagine that!  All I had to do was "come home".  (I am reminded of the Proverb: Raise a child up in the way He should go and he will not depart from it.)  My marriage, of 26 years, is to a great Christian man who is "the wind beneath my wings".  My business became successful.  Fear and anger no longer rule over me.

It did not happen over night.  There were trials and many errors along the way: health issues, decisions and major adjustments.  During this time, I learned to let God have control and it has made all the difference.

Lately, I have been reminded that we all have a story and as Christians, we need to share it with others.  It can take us out of our comfort zone but it is our story of how God, our Father, molds us to become what He calls us to.  Just maybe your story can help someone else.  If we just plant the seed, God will make it grow somewhere.
Amen!

  

Ruth vs Orpa / David vs Goliath

Seek & find; I love this - so fascinating.  This morning, I was prepared to delve into an entirely different topic when I stumbled on more underlying details in the book of Ruth.  I have studied Ruth (I thought) in depth but not blogged about it - yet.  I cannot wait to share this  part.  I am just listing some interesting tid bits as a prelude to writing about the love story of Ruth, sometime in the future.

Orpa, translates:  "Back of The Neck" - which she showed to Naomi as she left to return to "her people and her gods"  Ruth 1:15 
>  She was the other daughter-in-law of Naomi
>  She took 40 steps with Naomi and Ruth before turning back to Moab.
>  The number 40 (in the Bible) represents the period of testing.  It only took her 40 steps to make her decision to return to idol worship and moral degradation.  Christ spent 40 days in the wilderness where the devil tried to temp Him; He did not give in.
>  The daughter-in-law of Naomi who was married to Naomi's son, Kilion. 
>  Kilion, translates:  "Wasting Away" - he must have been sick all his life.
>  She was full blooded sister to Ruth and they are listed as "Moab Princesses" ie: Rabbah

The Talmud tells us : As soon as Orpah left Naomi and Ruth, the Talmuc (Sotah 42b) explains what happened next:  Upon leaving Naomi, Orpah ran into a battalion of 100 soldiers.  She willingly submitted herself to all of them.  From this encounter, she became pregnant and bore the giant Goliath, that David would later meet in battle.  No one can say who was Goliath's father.
* All this information about Orpa was gathered from Rabbinical literature, Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud.

Whoa!  This does not fit with the lineage in Matt 1: there are four generations between Ruth and David.  I am going to accept that Goliath was three or four generations away from this encounter but Orpa was truly an ancestor of Goliath.  I am also going to accept this as a bit of an exaggeration because it is highly unlikely she took on 100 men and survived.  (What a gal!)  Of course, it does not say over what time period or, if this number is even accurate.  It could have even happened after she was back in Moab, if at all.  There is just too much written about her being Goliath's ancestor to dismiss.  Hollywood would love this on the big screen. 

Goliath, in Assyro-Babylonian language means: "Ravaging Spirit"
>  Goliath had three brothers: Lahmi, Tan & Wayiggash (via Jewish Encyclopedia)
>  Goliath wore a helmet of bronze that came down over his forehead
>  coat of mail - a jacket covered with or composed of metal rings or plates, serving as armor.
>  brass on his legs - I imagine shin guards
>  gorget of brass between shoulders - a single piece of plate armor hanging from the neck and covering the throat and chest
>  spear like weaver's beam - the top wooden beam/bar that spans a large weaving loom.
>  heigth: 6 cubits + a span:  cubit = measure from elbow to finger tip, span = measure from heel to toe (or, spread hand and measure from thumb tip to tip of small finger).  But, who's?  If you measure by a petite woman vs a large man, you are getting two very different measurements.  We know he was a "giant".

Now, let's get into the "meat".  Orpa and Ruth are listed in historical literature as blood sisters.  True or not, there is still a fascinating parallel in this story.  There were daughters-in-law to Naomi.  The book of Ruth is clear on this.

Orpa, a Moabite woman returned to her people and her gods (idols) who "reviled God".  Thus, we see a woman choosing a life style that is not in keeping with God's instruction.  A stand many take today.  A lifestyle that she had left to marry a Hebrew man.  It took her only 40 paces to make her choice to return to her life away from God.

Whereas, Ruth, also a Gentile, former idol worshipping Moabite, chooses to follow a path of the living God by returning to Bethlehem in Judah.  She proclaims her choice, Ruth 1:16 & 17 in a beautiful proclamation that surely set her name in the lineage of Jesus.

Orpa represents those who chose the familiar, comfortable life of the world while Ruth represent those who choose the narrow path of what is right.  Rather than a mother of spiritual giants, Orpa became a mother of physical giants.  (Giants representing the things of the world that we need to overcome.)

Another parallel is found between David and Goliath as good triumphs over evil.  (They could have been distant relatives - ew!  About four generations distant.  No blood between them because Ruth chose to follow God, He sees her without blemish.)
Yet, a third parallel is hidden in the world (Orpa, Goliath) turning away from  followers (Ruth, David) of the one true God.

I love to seek because I am rewarded with the "finds" - all the little underlying meanings.

I pray for you today to have a fresh anointing on all you do and everyone you meet.  Praise God!

 Amen

The Woman At The Well

Who, in the Bible do you identify with?  Peter?  David?  Esther?  Martha?
I can identify with many characters but, if I'm being honest, it is the woman at the well.  She had several husbands and a "live in".  A situation like this is commonly the result of abuse, rejection or the lack of a father figure when growing up.  When she repented, she never looked back.

Jn 7:28 is commonly sited as the first time in John that Jesus states "I Am".  In Jn 4:26 (three chapters prior to chapt. 7) Jesus says, "I Am" to the Samaritan woman at the well. (Samaritans were idol worshipers who intermarried with the Jewish people and counted themselves as Jews.  For the most part, Jewish people despised them.)  Jesus had many dealings with women and always we find Him understanding and gentle.

Jesus went looking for her to specifically save her from herself.  Jn 4:4 says He "had to go through Samaria".  No He didn't; not physically.  It was actually out of the way.  He had to go because He knew this woman would be at this well at this time of day.  In v. 8 we see His disciples had gone for food.   He was "tired and sat down".  I am assuming He sent them for food so He could visit with the Samaritan woman alone.  Let's also notice that He "sat down".  I am reminded of the phrase, "Let go and let God".  When we struggle for control, He "sits down"; let's us work at our problems alone.  If we "sit down" and let him have the wheel, He gets up and goes to work on our problems.  He was sitting in this scene because He was waiting for a woman who had been trying to work out her life by herself.

In v. 6, we find out it was about noon - in the desert - lots of sun - few trees - it was the heat of the day.  People do not go out to get water in the heat of the day.  They would go early morning and evening when it was cooler.  Why did this woman come in the heat of the day?  She was shunned, gossiped about and scorned for her life choices.  The people knew who she was in this small town.  I have lived in a small town.  Believe me, they knew all about her.  

Verse 7 calls her "a Samaritan woman".  Commonly, when the Bible refers to a person without giving their name, they are a non believer.  This, and being Samaritan gives us evidence that she is not a believer.  Samaritans were people intermarried with the Jews and separate.   Some knew the God of Moses, some were even idol worshipers.

In v. 9 He asks her for a drink.  He initiates the conversation.  So many times in the Bible, Jesus approaches those He knows are in need.  He got her attention.  She comments on Him, as a Jew, speaking to her as a Samaritan.  Keep in mind, she was also aware of her status among her people.

In v. 10, He states the "gift of God . . . . would have given you living water."  He is revealing Himself to her; something He seldom did directly.  Jesus revealed Himself to women many times.  He was being intimate and sharing a special moment. I believe it is so much easier for women to relate to and understand Him than it is for men.  We see by church attendance that there are more Christian women than there are men.  Interesting, when you think of how Eve was fooled.  

Of course, the living water He spoke of was the Holy Spirit, as He explains in v. 13 and 14.  (Jer. 2:13)   In v. 15, she is still not clear on what He is saying.  He continues to gently guide her into the truth.  She is making progress; she wants what He has to give.  Then, He tests her in v. 16 and she comes through with the truth about herself in v. 17 where Jesus compliments her for her honesty.  

  Through v. 18 he tells her about herself, pointing out her sin WITHOUT any condemnation.  What a beautiful Savior!  Now, she is catching on; in v. 19 she has upgraded him to the status of "prophet".  She has had revelation:  In v. 9 she called him a "Jew".  In v. 11, she addresses Him as "Sir".  Now, in v. 19, she sees Him as a "prophet".  (Three is the number of the God head.)  She has increased in understanding with each step of their encounter.

Their conversation continues through v. 24 while He tells her of a time, that is coming, when WHERE people worship will not be an issue.  All will worship God through the Holy Spirit, wherever they are.  Our worship of God will come from within and through the spirit.  God, who is spirit, can only be worshiped through spirit.  (I see a hidden reference here to grace over the law.)

The Samaritan woman reveals her faith in v. 25.  Now that this is out in the open, Jesus reveals His true self to her in v. 26 with the declaration, "I Am".  (See my blog titled, "I Am".  Every Jew and certainly most,if not all, Samaritans knew the name of God, "I Am As I Am".)   First comes your faith, then comes Jesus.  You take the first step and He is waiting.  This is the first "I Am" declaration to a Gentile woman.  It may be the only one - I would have to research that.  

Now, the disciples return and here is their Rabbi talking with a Samaritan and a woman on top of that.  Verse 27 says they did not ask any question.  They presumed it was alright because they presumed she was married.  They didn't know anything about her. 

Verse 28 is interesting because she left her water jar.  She came to the well, in the heat of the day to get this water that she surely needed.  Why did she leave without it?  SHE NO LONGER NEEDED IT.  She now had the living water; the Holy Spirit or a temporary facsimile.  (The Spirit was not sent permanently to all until Pentecost, recorded in Acts.)  We can assume this because of what follows in the next couple verses.  She no longer cared what people had to say about her or to her.  She had the spirit and she was going to talk about Jesus.  She was excited.  She was not shy or hesitant.  This woman was "on fire".   

As she spoke with Jesus, you can see her revelation of what He was saying and who He was.  She accepted without doubt or question and became an instant evangelist to people who despised her - much like Jesus himself.   She never  questioned Him or anything He was telling her as He brought her gently along to the understanding of who He was and the gift of The Spirit.  

Now comes one of my favorite parts of the story.   The disciples urge Jesus to eat and He tells them He is no longer hungry.  He is talkative and refreshed.  Why?  Because this wonderful woman took what He was giving.  She had a need and He has so much to give.  Just a step out in belief and He gives freely, without condemnation.  This is what He does; He is our Savior, Jesus, the Christ.  He is here for us; the Shepard taking care of the sheep.  Believe on Him and He will give to you because it replenishes Him to give more.

He proceeds to tell his disciples of the many people who are anxiously waiting for just such a message - "the fields are ripe for harvest".  This woman continued harvesting and brought many believers who invited Him to stay with them and teach more.  The people were grateful to her for pointing Him out to them.

Note:  Nowhere in this passage, did Jesus tell her "Go and sin no more".  Why?  It is stated that he needed to go to Samaria to this well to talk with this woman.  We know that Jesus knows each of us intimately; no secrets here.  I believe he didn't tell her that because He knew she went  home and kicked out that guy she was living with.  I believe she repented and continued being the first Gentile woman evangelist. 

My you come to the understanding of the gentle, loving heart of Jesus and how He is waiting on you for that first step in faith.
Amen